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Daniel & Shana are hopeful adoptive parents from Indiana waiting to adopt a baby.

If you are pregnant and considering placing your child for adoption, please read the following Dear Birthmother Letter.

We've Adopted a Daughter

Hello Dear Birthmother,

Dan and I have thought about you many times. We don’t know your name or where you’re from. What we do know is the most important piece of information, though. You are a person of strength and courage. You are someone who puts the well-being of your baby before EVERYTHING ELSE. You must be wondering who we are and if we possess the unselfish nature required to truly love a child. Please take a journey with us through this letter as we try to answer your questions.

Our Background

Dan and I have been together for ten years. We met while working at a grocery store and became friends. After a few months, it was clear that we were more than friends. That was the start of many great years together. Before getting married in 2004, we pursued a college education. I received a Bachelors degree in Psychology and a Masters in Elementary Education. Dan earned an Associates degree in Applied Science and a Bachelors degree in Communications. I became an elementary school teacher, and Dan began a career as an Insurance Agent. We were fortunate to obtain jobs that offer us a great deal of flexibility. As a teacher, I have holidays and summers off and my workday ends early. Also, I plan to take some time off when the baby arrives. Dan has the kind of job flexibility that allows him to arrive or leave work at various times needed. We’ll have the opportunity to spend valuable time with our child.
Shortly after we were married, we tried to start a family. I was 28 years old at that time (now 31), and Dan was 26 (now 29). About two years went by and we realized we may need the assistance of a doctor. Through fertility evaluation, Dan and I discovered that conceiving a child would be difficult. We pursued treatment for awhile and finally decided to give ourselves the gift of discontinuing the process. It wasn’t that we were the kind of people that give up easily. Dan and I strongly felt that there was a different and equally wonderful plan for us. Our desire to adopt a child left us feeling happy and positive about the future of our family.
The years leading up to this decision were challenging but worth it. They revealed many of Dan’s wonderful characteristics. At one point, I stopped looking at Dan from my perspective and began seeing him through the eyes of our future child.

Our Thoughts on Each Other What Shana Says Our Child Will Love about His/Her Father

Our baby will know that his/her father immensely cares from the very beginning. Hugs and kisses are the obvious expressions of love. Our child will receive plenty of affection in this way. What I want to talk about are the less celebrated demonstrations of love. The moment our son or daughter comes into our home, Dan will change diapers and wake up in the middle of the night for feedings. His sense of humor will no doubt bring smiles and laughter to our child. As our baby turns into a toddler, Dan will help him/her take first steps and explore the world. He will bandage scrapes and wipe away tears. Dan will get involved in whatever extracurricular activities interest our son/daughter and he’ll sit at the kitchen table to help with homework. He will be there to listen and support our child through the joys and disappointments in life. How do I know all of this to be true? For years now, I have been watching Dan interact with the children his mom baby-sits, our nephews, and our niece. He goes the extra mile to show how much he cares for each of them. Our child will never question whether or not he or she is loved. Our baby will feel it before understanding the actual words being spoken.


What Dan Says Our Child Will Love about His/Her Mother

Shana was meant to be a mother. There are so many wonderful things about her but the one thing she will excel at most is motherhood. Her love, compassion, protective instincts, and empathy are second to no other. Our child will never wonder if he or she is loved or special because Shana will always be there to remind him or her. I have witnessed this time and time again. Just like she was meant to be a mother she was also meant to be a teacher. Nobody can raise a child’s self-esteem and make them feel cared for like Shana. I have seen this with her students and also our niece and nephews. She jumps at the chance to be with them, take them to the park, help them with their homework, or teach them to read. The thing that amazes me the most is that it all comes natural to her. I’m not just talking about changing the diapers and feeding, but the kind of affection and comfort Shana gives all children around her. Above all Shana is unselfish and will do whatever is best for our child. Our child will always be in the presence of Shana’s calmness under any circumstance, unmatched sympathy, and unwavering love and affection. I fell in love with Shana knowing she will be a nurturing, loving mother.

Our Families Shana Talks about Her Family

I was born the middle child of three to my mom, Pat and my father, Ron. I had a loving and warm upbringing where my mom stayed at home and my father worked long hours. My sister, brother, and I would arrive home from school to find baked cookies and the sweet smile of my mom. My father took us on bike rides and coached our soccer teams. My childhood was a true blessing.
My mom still bakes cookies, but now they’re for her grandchildren as well as her grown children. She is still the same kind, caring, and humorous person with my nephews and niece. My friend describes my mom as the grandma everyone wants to have. When anyone in my family needs encouragement and unconditional love, we look to my mom.
My father definitely takes his roll as a grandfather seriously. The day my oldest nephew was born, he put on a grandfather sweater and never looked back. He does many of the same things with my nephews and niece that he did with my siblings and I growing up. He takes them on bike rides, to the park, and visits numerous stores to pick out their hundredth surprise gift!
My sister, Allison, is the oldest. She is the mother of my nephews and niece. She reminds me of mom in so many ways. She spends a lot of time with her children and loves them very much. Allison and her husband, Brian, are best friends and devoted parents. My sister is constantly dreaming of the day when she becomes an aunt. It’s all she can talk about! She tells me over and over what a great aunt she will be and how much she will adore my children.
My brother, Josh, is the youngest. He is a musician who writes his own songs and plays the guitar. More importantly, he is a hilarious uncle. He and the children are always joking around and laughing. My nephews and niece know the words to his songs and sing them continuously. They look up to him. He is their “cool uncle.”
My family enjoys being together, and we all live in the same area, so we see one another two or three times a week. In a busy world where many families live far from one another, I consider myself fortunate for this situation.

Dan Talks about His Family

I grew up with two wonderful parents, Pam and Bill. I have two brothers, Michael and Jeff, and a sister, Krista. I had a wonderful upbringing filled with family get-togethers, camping, and water-skiing.
My mom was always involved with my siblings and I. She made sure we went to church, taught us how to plant a garden, and always had a warm dinner on the table in the evening. Most importantly, she taught us the value of family. She had my grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins over to our house on a regular basis. My extended family lived very close to one another and had the benefit of each other’s love and influence.
My father worked hard to support our family. He looked forward to coming home every night to what he valued most, which was spending time with my mom, brothers, sister, and I. My father went sledding with us in the winter and water-skiing in the summer. He taught me the importance of being involved with family and being an honest worker. Together, he and my mom made sure I grew up with strong character.
My mom is the same person today as when I was growing up. She provides childcare for several children and my nephew, Evan. She cares for them very much. My mom teaches them to read and count. She takes them to the park and on other adventures. I can imagine her with my son or daughter, and it makes me feel happy. She is excited to be a grandmother for the second time and will put her heart and soul into this role. My father passed away several years ago, but his example of what a good father is still lives on in me. My child will know his grandfather through me.
Michael is my oldest brother. Stacey is his wife, and Evan is his son. Michael is a very enthusiastic and caring father. He spends almost every available moment with Evan. Michael is dependable and adventurous. He will be a great uncle.
Krista is the second oldest in my family. She is a history teacher. Although she has a busy work schedule, she makes a lot of time for Evan. They go to fun places such as the zoo together. She brings him surprises often. The most important thing she gives Evan is her time. This will be true for my child, as well. I can imagine the joy she will bring.
My brother, Jeff, is only a couple of years older than I am. He is a kind and thoughtful person. Like my sister, he enjoys spending time with Evan. Jeff is a good role model to him. I can see Jeff having the same effect on my child.

Like Shana’s family, my mom, siblings, aunts, uncles, and cousins spend a lot of time together. There is always lots of laughter and fun at our family gatherings. We support each other completely and can count on one other. Our first priority is family and always will be.

So Many Thngs to Say So Many Things to Say…

There is so much to tell you. Dan and I want you to know that we will support you in ways that you would find helpful. We like the idea of “Open Adoption.” We are keeping an open mind about everything. Dan and I really want to hear what you think, though. Please feel free to call us anytime at home. I’m sure you have many questions for us. Please don’t hesitate to call us with questions that will help you get to know us better. We look forward to the day when you welcome us into the lives of you and your baby.


With respect,


Shana and Dan Bane
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