Jennifer, Jim & Joshua
After a year on ParentProfiles we are happy to announce the birth, and adoption, of our son. Our adoption was a dream come true and everything fell into place. The birthmother wanted me in the delivery room with her and her mom, and I helped her push. At 5:33 am on November 5th the baby was born. I also cut the baby's umbilical cord per the birthmom's wishes. Jim, was just outside the room and more ...
If you're considering placing your child with an adoptive family, you have quite a journey ahead of you. The best thing you can do for yourself and your child is to consider all your options and make an informed decision. Making an informed decision means that you fully understand the process and results or consequences of each possible choice, and you move forward with the one that you feel is best for your specific situation. Studying your options and being determined to make an informed decision gives you control over your situation. It empowers.
If you've decided on adoption, there will be many things on your to-do list. Here are just a few:
Find an Agency/Adoption Professionals: While working with an adoption agency isn't necessary to finalizing an adoption, working with some kind of adoption professional is. At the very least, you'll need an adoption attorney to help you through the process and represent you during court or in meetings with the other adoption professionals hired by the adoptive family. Even so, finding the right adoption professionals or agency may not be easy. It will require hard work on your end, as you search through and meet with the many potentials. While you're finding the right agency or attorney, remember that you don't have to work with the first one you meet. You have the power and control. If you feel uncomfortable, find another professional.
Determine Type of Adoption: Deciding which type of adoption is best for you and your situation is an important aspect of the placement process. You have three basic options: open, semi-open/semi-closed, or closed adoption. Open adoption generally means that personal, private information is shared between all parties, and contact throughout the process and following finalization is accepted and encouraged. A semi-open/semi-closed adoption means that some information may be exchanged or contact is acceptable when both parties agree. A closed adoption usually means that adoption attorneys or other professionals represent the parties, and most personal information is kept private. And contact after finalization is frowned upon.
However, when deciding on your preferred type of adoption, each adoption relationship can be custom-made. If you want to visit the adoptive family on birthdays, holidays, or life events, you can make that a priority as you begin the placement process. If you prefer not to have contact after finalization, that's your right, too. This is the time to decide what's best and what you really want and need. While you may have to compromise on some of your list, you should never compromise on all of it.
Find a Family: Finding a family for your child may be the hardest part of adoption. The family you choose will raise your child; you'll want to make sure they're the right fit. There are numerous ways to find a family. The first, most common way is to search online profiles created by those hoping to adopt. You can search at your leisure without having to commit to anyone. When you find a few that may work, contact them or have your agency or adoption professional contact them. If they aren't what you're looking for, continue your search. Exactly as it is with searching for adoption professionals, you don't have to choose the first couple you meet. Keep searching until you find the perfect fit. Remember to keep your list handy.
Relinquish Parental Rights: When you do find the right adoptive family, the adoption can't be finalized until you've relinquished your parental rights. You'll need to do so in front of a judge, and the judge will grant the adoptive couple parental rights. This can be a difficult part of the process. However, remember that you're not alone. Consider visiting with a counselor or joining a support group. You'll find others who have been exactly where you are now.
Even though your pregnancy may be unplanned, it doesn't mean you are devoid of options. Consider your options, learn the effects or results of each choice, and make an informed decision. That's the best thing you can do for yourself and for your beautiful child.