Jeff & Kim
We matched in April and our daughter Isabella Grace was born in November. We have a great relationship with her birthmother. We kept our profile updated in hopes of adopting again. We received a call from a birthmother in California. We flew from Michigan to Los Angeles and Aubree Danyl was born the next September on the day of our arrival. We now have two beautiful girls nine months apart! more ...
Throughout the adoption process, relationships will be formed. You'll form relationships with adoption professionals, hospital staff, and potential adoptive families. These relationships are essential for a smooth placement and adoption process. You will need to depend on these relationships to ensure that your child is cared for and placed with a family with which you feel comfortable. Remember that placing your child is a journey; it is a major process. It requires emotional and mental fortitude. It requires determination and love.
For some birth parents, creating adoption relationships can be bittersweet. It can be hard to open up and discuss your feelings, needs, and emotions--especially with people you don't necessarily know very well. It can be hard to trust others during such a difficult situation. But learning to trust is important. Keep in mind that not everyone you come in contact with will be trustworthy. It is important for you to figure out who you can trust and who you can't.
Throughout the following pages, you'll find more information about the adoption relationships you'll be creating and maintaining. You can delve deeper into how to create boundaries and respect others' boundaries throughout the adoption process and through the years to come. Boundaries are imperative to healthy adoption relationships. And to continue these relationships, everyone involved must learn to respect boundaries. It can be as simple as that.
Deciding which type of adoption is right for your specific situation can also be very difficult. You'll need to research your options. From there, study each one and pinpoint which type of relationship, if any, you would like to have with your child and their adoptive parents. By knowing what type of relationship you want or don't want, you can figure out which type of adoption (closed, open, semi-open/semi-closed) is best for you and your child.
As you go through the following pages, remember that three things are crucial for healthy adoption relationships:
Honesty: If you never tell the adoption professionals what you're feeling and what you need, they'll never know. Your needs can't be met if you don't vocalize them. If something makes you feel uncomfortable, say it. Don't be afraid to tell people how you feel. There is nothing to be ashamed of.
Communication: Open and honest communication is necessary when working your way through the adoption process. Communication makes for a smoother process and a happier and healthier outcome.
Compromise: This isn't completely all-encompassing. Obviously, it depends on the exact situation. But for certain situations, compromise from all parties is essential in order to develop a healthy adoption relationship. That way, everyone has some of their needs met, and it isn't dominated by just one person.
These relationships that you create and maintain are for your benefit. They will help you along your journey, providing your child with the family you choose and having your needs met.