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Mary Kay & Terry
Thank you Parent Profiles!!! While checking our stats daily and receiving thousands of hits, we only received one response from a birthmother. On the other hand in that 60 days of our profile being active, that was all it took! We are now the proud parents of a beautiful baby boy!! Our birthmother found us by logging on to one of the adoption websites that parent profiles advertises with and noticed our teaser more ...
Parenting Decisions, Placement Options, Older Child Placement
As a parent, you'll have to face many moments of decision-making. You're in charge of your child's well-being as well as your own. And these decisions aren't always easy to make. While some are harder than others, there may be a few in your life that can bring you to your knees. One of those decisions is when you decide to place your child with an adoptive family after you've begun the parenting journey. This decision can come when your child is just a few months old or even when your child is a pre-teen. And no matter the age of your child, it can be devastating.
Deciding to place while parenting can happen at any time, and there are varying reasons why you might make this difficult decision. The first is finances. Being a parent requires you to pay for food, clothing, diapers, doctor visits, and daycare. You may have decided to parent, but then discovered that you can't afford to raise a child and take care of yourself also. Or perhaps you have other children, but you can't take care of all of them at once. Other financial reasons could be because you lost your job, received a severe pay cut, or no longer have the means of support you're used to.
If not for a financial reason, you may decide to place while parenting because of personal issues, problems, or setbacks. You will need to get yourself in order before you can care for your child or children. It may even be court-ordered. If this is the case, it's important that you take the time you need to take care of yourself. It may even be possible for you to place your child into a foster home until you meet the court's requirements. Another reason to consider placing your child for adoption involves health concerns. This can either be your health issue that makes it difficult to parent or your child's health issue-a health issue that may be too much for you to handle. You may decide that placing your child with someone who is more knowledgeable of certain issues will give your child a better life.
No matter your reason, you may have to deal with negative reactions from your family members and friends. They may not understand your reasoning, think you're acting too hastily, or you're not giving yourself enough credit. While everyone will have his/her own opinion, what's important is that you make the decision you feel is best after a lot of research and with a full understanding of what each decision will mean. Respect your loved ones' opinions, but don't feel pressured into changing your mind. If you feel comfortable and confident in your decision, it's time to move forward.
Depending on the age of your child, you may have to explain to him/her what is happening and why it's happening. This might be the hardest part of the entire journey. Use age-appropriate terms and phrases so your child can easily understand. Let your child know of your love and that you're doing it so s/he can have a better life. If you feel overwhelmed with the thought of confronting your child, consider inviting a professional counselor along. S/he can help you and your child through this tough process.
While deciding to place after you've already parented isn't an easy decision to make, it's a reality for many parents. Take your time in deciding what's best for your family. It may be painful and overwhelming, but it may be the answer to your struggle to provide--emotionally, physically, and monetarily--for your child. Remember that it doesn't mean you're a bad parent. It means that you've met some unsavory life experiences and you need help. It takes courage and strength, resilience and selflessness.
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