Paul & Britt
March 2005 "Miracles happen to those who believe" We were contacted by our second MIRACLE baby’s Birth Mother from our Parent Profile. Simply AMAZING..... She said when she saw our profile "she knew we were "THE ONES". She and I "hit it off" from our first phone call. About two months later our daughter was born. We were there to attend the birth (which was AMAZING). We spent quality time with our daughter's Birth Parents and more ...
One of the many steps in the placement process is to speak with the hospital staff about adoption before you're admitted. While some parents prefer not to involve anyone else in their decision to place, it can be to your benefit to discuss it at length. This allows everyone--you, your family, the adoptive family, and the hospital staff--to be on the same page. And when that happens, your labor and delivery, hospital experience, and adoption plan have the potential to move forward smoothly, calmly, and according to your needs.
If you haven't done so already, create an adoption birth plan. This plan consists of your needs, expectations, and desires for your hospital stay. It can include items like who you would like in the delivery room with you--your family, friends, and/or adoptive family--whether or not you want an epidural or any type of pain medication, or if you'd like to have some private time with your child after delivery or you'd like the child to be placed with the adoptive family immediately. Remember that every adoption plan is different and unique. One adoption birth plan is not better than another, as it is dependent on your personal needs.
When it comes time to speak with the hospital staff before you're admitted, it's beneficial to take copies of your adoption birth plan with you. Hand them out to the nurses and doctors that will be assisting with the labor and delivery. Let them review your list and answer any questions they may have. Be honest, upfront, and respectful. They should treat you the same way in return, even if they don't agree with or condone your plan specifics. If the hospital staff adds their opinions to the discussion, remember that it's important to listen and respect their opinions, but it's still your decision in the end. Do not let them coerce or pressure you to change your mind or your adoption birth plan. This is your own experience, and you should be able to dictate your expectations and needs.
Another reason to speak with the hospital staff about adoption pre-admission is so they can not only be aware but be respectful and empathetic. They need to have an understanding of the feelings and emotions that often accompany an adoption placement. If you want to hold your child, you should be allowed. If you prefer not to see your child at all, that is your choice. Whether or not you want the adoptive parents nearby or not allowed at all, the hospital staff should respect that decision and any decision you make--as long as your life or the life of your child is not threatened or risked.
If you feel intimidated by speaking with the hospital staff, take someone with you. Even if that person has to do the talking and explaining for you, it still will benefit you in the end and make for a more organized hospital experience. Don't be afraid of your needs. The only way to get what you need is to speak up, inform those involved, and move forward with confidence knowing you're doing what's best for both you and your child.