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Jon & Kathy
Jon and I came to this site after signing with our agency, who encouraged us to do some of our own 'advertising'.
Our profile was activated the end of October and we started getting calls and emails about 3 weeks later. We received THE call about our son on New Year's Day. It was actually from the agency that the birthmother contacted. So, not only do birthparents look through here, but more ...
Post-Placement Support, unplanned pregnancy, pregnancy options
Deciding to place your child with an adoptive family is a difficult decision to make. You'll discover--if you haven't already--that the days following the placement will be overwhelming and emotional. Granted, some days will be better than others, but you'll eventually need to confront the pain and heavy, negative emotions. Emotional healing is the next step you need to take. This step isn't a simple, quick step. It requires hard work. It requires dedication and the desire to heal. The following are ways to help and encourage emotional healing in your own life:
Support System: During this difficult time, it is important to have a sturdy and reliable support system with which to surround yourself. Gather your friends and family members around you to buoy and encourage you on the road of emotional healing. If you don't have loved ones to which to turn, consider joining and participating in a support group. Whether it is your family and friends or a support group, they will provide a safe place to share your experiences, you fears and concerns, your emotions and feelings, and your healing process. It should be a group of people that you trust and respect. And they should treat you the same way in return.
Counseling: If you want more professional help, consider meeting with a counselor. Your professional counselor can help you better understand yourself, your emotions, and your feelings. With better understanding of yourself and what you're feeling, you will be able to see a clearer path to emotional healing. In order for you to get the most out of professional counseling or therapy, honesty is imperative. You need to be honest with yourself and with your counselor.
Patience: With whichever method you decide is best for you to emotionally heal, patience is the key. This process isn't easy or simple. You'll need to be patient with yourself. Placing a child can take quite an emotional toll on your body, your mind, and your spirit and vigor. It is only natural that it will take some time to recover. Be patient with yourself. Be kind to yourself.
Acceptance: One of the important steps to healing emotionally is acceptance. You'll learn to accept yourself, your situation, and your decision. Before you can move forward, you will need to find internal acceptance. Just like developing patience and the entire healing journey, finding self-acceptance is a process. Progression is the most important thing in this process. As long as you're moving forward, you're improving.
Goals: Throughout this journey, set goals for yourself. This is one way that you can recognize that you're progressing, and how far you've progressed. Making and achieving goals is a great way to keep your motivation strong and vibrant. These goals don't have to be related to the healing process. They can be as simple as reading a book, picking up a new hobby, and so on. Have fun with it and know that you're moving forward towards emotional healing.
You have to want to find emotional healing; it takes effort on your part. You have to choose to relinquish those negative emotions and thoughts and replace them with more positive thoughts and emotions. It will get easier with time. Give yourself the time you need to find the peace, happiness, hope, and joy that you should be experiencing throughout your life.
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