Michael & Dena
In 2004, we completed our first home study and joined Parent Profiles. We formed a group with some of the other adoptive parents from our state on the site and got together monthly. Some of them told stories about how they constantly had new birth-mothers contacting them - of how they would talk on the phone, and e-mail. We felt kind of bad because that was not the case for us. more ...
As a birth parent, choosing the right family for your child can be quite a process--a journey, if you will. It can even be as confusing as deciding whether or not to place your child. Remember that you have the choice of which family is best for your child. You have many options and decisions to make when selecting a family. What type of family are you looking for? Are there certain characteristics or attributes that you want your child's adoptive family to have? Some parents are only concerned with placing their child in a loving home. Other parents have concerns that can range from religious views to disciplinary beliefs. Overall, you are the one that needs to make the decision. And you need to be comfortable and content with that decision. Because of that, it isn't always an easy decision to make.
If you find yourself wanting to be more particular about the adoptive family, you have quite a bit to think about. Take the time you need to make a decision. This decision is something you'll need to accept and live with for the rest of your life. If you start with the basic requests or requirements for the right adoptive family and work towards the more complex, it shouldn't be too overwhelming. This can be a difficult, heart-wrenching, and stress-laden process. Be patient with yourself.
Start by creating a list of attributes or qualities you are looking for in an adoptive family. After you have made your list, rank the qualities or specifications in order of importance. Making a list will help you narrow down your search so you can find the right adoptive parents for your child.
If you need a little help making your list, here are some common concerns many birth parents have:
While the above are just a few concerns, there are many more categories to consider. Do what's best for you and your child. Find the family that you feel fits best with your ideals. The main thing is that you choose a family that you are comfortable with. This is your decision to make; be confident in your decision.