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Lynn & Michael
Our profile became active on June 1st, 2005 with Parent Profiles, and we were contacted by Sarah, our birthmother, on July 29th. After about a month of corresponding, talking, and going to meet her, Sarah chose us as the couple to raise her son who is due to be born on December 3rd. Sarah is a wonderful, unselfish, and brave young lady! Michael and I feel truly blessed and honored to have more ...
Preparing Emotionally
Now that you've made the decision to place your child with an adoptive family, the next part of the journey may be emotional. It is never an easy decision when determining what is best for you and for your child. Because the adoption journey is long, difficult, and emotional, it is crucial to prepare yourself emotionally, and then continue to handle and understand your emotions, insecurities, and doubts.
Once upon a time there was a family that wanted to bring another baby into their home. They had been blessed with two wonderful children through adoption and had had two great experiences with birth mothers. Can you help us find our "happily ever after"?
The first thing to remember is that you are not alone. Most will have the support and love of family and friends. If you don't have this, there are community members and support groups that will be there to help, if you just ask. Asking for help and support is nothing of which to be ashamed. And neither is deciding to place your child with another family. It takes courage and hope, and you did what you believed to be best.
Throughout this section of our site, you'll find additional information that can help you prepare emotionally and continue to emotional certainty, hope, and healing. You'll read about how journaling your experience can be both therapeutic and insightful, and how it can start you on the road to healing and emotional recovery.
Everyone experiences doubt when they are making a tough decision. It is completely normal and natural. And because each person is different, each person deals with doubt through a different method. The important thing is to find the method that works best for you and for your specific situation.
Once you have dealt with your doubt, the next step is to accept your decision and learn how to say goodbye. This is one of the most painful experiences of this entire journey. Understand that just because you are placing your child with another family doesn't mean you don't love your child. It means you are doing what you believe is best for him/her. It means you are willing to sacrifice your life together so your child can possibly have better life opportunities.
When all is said and done, consider joining a support group and begin counseling. If you feel that you need help from a professional, this is generally the route to go. They will guide you to accept your decision and progress through your life. In support groups, you will find other birth parents who have been in the same position you are now. They can help you with strategies on dealing and healing emotionally, give you tips and advice. You will forge friendships and trusts that will guide you along your life journey.
Healing emotionally after placing your child won't happen overnight. It is a process. It takes patience, dedication, and self-understanding. It requires acceptance of your decision and an understanding that you did the best thing for you, your child, and your situation. Emotional healing is possible. Find hope. Find yourself again. Find happiness.
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