John & Doris
We joined parent profiles.com in June 2004 and on Dec. 11 of the same year a birthmother contacted us. She also lived in MD and since the holidays were fast approaching and we were going to go out of town we agreed to meet on January 2. The meeting went well and after one more e-mail she asked us to be the adoptive parents of her baby and she asked me (the adoptive mother) if more ...
You've made the decision to place your child with an adoptive family. And now that you've actually made it through the placing process, it is important to know that you still have support and help available to you post-placement. You don't have to go through this difficult process alone; there will always be someone there to help you--whether that is a friend, family member, support group member, professional counselor, or community member.
Throughout the following pages, you'll find ample information on ways to receive that much-needed support. Modernly, you have so many options if you decide you need support after placement. There are so many options, in fact, that you shouldn't feel pressed to choose one method right away. For starters, you can always join a support group or visit a professional counselor. They can help you to understand your emotions and accept your decision. They can give you a safe, non-judgmental place to express yourself.
Remember that emotional healing is a process;there isn't one right way. You have to find the method or resource that works best for you and your specific situation. If you prefer to not involve others in your healing, there are still things you can do. One of the things you can do, which is in more detail on that specific page, is to write letters. You can write letters to your child and his or her adoptive parents, if it has been agreed upon. If it hasn't been agreed upon, you can still write letters for yourself. You can still address those letters to your child, but consider keeping them for a reconnection down the road. Or, use these letters in a scrapbook or journal.
This section will also help you get through and enjoy birthdays and holidays. Holidays and birthdays can be increasingly overwhelming. It doesn't have to be. There are ways to comfort yourself and look forward to your future with hope, happiness, and eagerness. Whether you decide to include others in this is up to you.
Support is available to you. While not all of these methods will work, there should be at least one method that fits perfectly. Test a few out before you take them off your list of options. Keep an open mind as you move forward with your life. You will be surprised at the amazing experiences you will have while emotionally healing. You will form strong bonds with others. You will learn more about yourself. You will find health, healing, and love as you open yourself up to possibility.