Cindy & Nate
We received a contact through our Parent Profiles website on Tuesday, March 28th. The e-mail indicated that a birthmom named Amber thought we looked like a great couple and that she would love to hear from us. I e-mailed her back immediately but the e-mail was bounced back indicating an inaccurate e-mail address. I figured that Amber had transposed some letters in her e-mail address so I made the correction and re-sent the e-mail. Luckily more ...
Even if you've only had sex once, even if you used protection during sex, even if there wasn't actual penetration, you can still get pregnant. And when you don't intend to be pregnant, it can come as a terrible shock. The first instinct is denial the test must be wrong, the doctor's mixed up the samples, or simply this isn't happening to me.
This is a dangerous reaction, although it's a universal reaction. Women who deny their unplanned pregnancy usually don't get adequate prenatal care. They may continue dangerous personal habits like smoking, drinking, or illegal drugs habits dangerous to a pregnant woman as well as her fetus. Having a baby with problems on top of having a pregnancy that you did not want can really ruin your life.
If you didn't intend to be pregnant, the first thing is to sit down and at least pretend it's really happening. What will it do to your life if you are pregnant? It may just mean having a child in a stable relationship a little earlier than you intended; or it may mean being a 14-year-old unwed mother instead of an aspiring doctor or actress. Once you've assessed the impact this pregnancy will have to your life, it's time to think about what you can do next.
There are three basic options available in an unplanned pregnancy: you can have and keep your baby; you can have your baby and place it for adoption; or you can have an abortion, at least within the first trimester and sometimes the second. It's a decision only you can make; if you are pregnant by a man with whom you have a stable relationship, you should also discuss it with him. Though it's not his body, he does have a stake in your future and it is wrong to deny him at least the opportunity to help make the decision.
You can seek unbiased help for your unplanned pregnancy in many places. Planned Parenthood is a nonprofit organization in the business of helping young women who have this decision to make in a nonjudgmental, non-pushy way. And once the decision is made, Planned Parenthood can help you carry out your choice, whether it's adoption, abortion, or parenting your baby. There may be financial assistance available to you if you choose to let someone adopt your baby; medical bills, lost work, and travel expenses can sometimes push a woman toward abortion, but money should not be a reason to abort a fetus. If you plan to keep your baby, Planned Parenthood may be able to help you with budgeting, finding government help, and fulfilling your goals despite your new status as mother.
If you do choose abortion, you should take advantage of any post-surgical counseling offered to you. Abortion can be a surprisingly emotional decision. Many women don't have any problems with it; others mourn an aborted fetus as they would a child. And though you may think you know how you'll react, there really is no way to predict it. Instead of putting yourself at risk for depression, make certain you take care of yourself.