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Betsy & Noah
We met our absolutely lovely birthmother and her charming family through parentprofiles.com. We could not have been happier and our delicious son Max is proof positive that the internet has revolutionized our life. more ...
Writing Letters
Placing your child with an adoptive family is a difficult and emotional decision to make. Each day can be difficult--especially on holidays and birthdays. One way that can help you through your life journey is by writing letters.
Writing letters to your child or his/her adoptive parents can be a touchy subject for some members of the adoption triad. Sometimes not all parties will agree on an acceptable level of contact. If you want to write letters, make sure to talk to the adoptive parents before beginning. Talk with them about the reasons you'd like to write letters. And listen to what the adoptive parents have to say as well. Listen to their reasoning and their feelings on the subject.
If both you and the adoptive parents come to an agreement, move forward with writing letters. This can be a great way to find healing and hope. It can ease your mind and let you know that your child is cared for and happy. For some birth parents, this can mean the world to them. Knowing that their children are happy can bring happiness and contentment into their own lives. Also consider letting them know how your life is progressing and changing. In return, they may choose to do the same for you. Even if they don't respond with their own progressions, at least they know how you're doing.
If the adoptive parents aren't comfortable with letters, you can still write letters--just not send them. It works the same way as a journal; you just direct your writing towards your child or to the adoptive parents. Write your feelings, your experiences, and your needs. Write everything down on that paper. Be completely open. In doing so you'll find an ease of stress and perhaps a small relief of pain. It can help you see your situation clearly. Writing letters can give you a better perspective.
You can save these unsent letters for yourself or with hope of reconnecting one day or you can use them in a scrapbook. Do what you need to do to find the right balance in your life. If it involves writing letters, you have found a great outlet that works for you. Even consider writing about your decision to place your child with an adoptive family-whether you send it later after reconnection or not.
Writing letters can be therapeutic. It gives you the space to express yourself, discover your emotions and feelings, and potentially share those discoveries with loved ones. Letter writing is an effective and worthwhile option to consider for healing and finding hope.
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