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R. J. & Shanna are hopeful adoptive parents from Idaho waiting to adopt a baby.

If you are pregnant and considering placing your child for adoption, please read the following Dear Birthmother Letter.

Hello! Dear Birth Parents,

Hello! We are R. J., Shanna and Zachary. We have written this letter thousands of times! It is an incredible challenge not to sound corny and over-the-top. We do want you to know that we are thinking of you, that we are very interested in whatever you would like to share. We would love to answer any questions you have for us. It truly is very tremendous that you might consider us as an adoptive family for your baby. We thank you sincerely for taking this time to look at us. Even though we do not know you, we would like you to know that we feel nothing but love and support toward you and this decision you are making.

It is amazing to us how much we are all connected as human beings. And truly, why are we here if not to make one another\\\\\\\'s burdens a little bit lighter and easier to carry? We are a close, loving family with incredible family members on both sides who are as excited as we are about this opportunity to adopt again!

Our adoption experience with a word from Zach We have had the unique experience to see adoption from both sides. Shanna’s younger brother and his girlfriend offered with hearts breaking their sweet little boy to a family who could provide him with what they felt he needed. Exactly one year later, to the date, we received our own little miracle – Zachary! The two boys share a birthday and are one year apart. In our family, we see this as a truly incredible blessing, knowing that we have a kind and loving Heavenly Father who will see us through heart-wrenching and amazing life events. Zachary is not a replacement for that little boy who is not with our family at this time; however, perhaps we get a small glimpse of what his life might be like as we watch Zach growing up.

Some words from Zachary…
I know that my birth-mommy carried me in her tummy for nine months. All that time and before I arrived my adopted-parents carried me in their hearts – hoping for me. That is how they have told me. I know someday I will meet my birth mom – Jill – when I am ready. My adopted-parents were so excited to see me and loved me as soon as they saw me! I love being adopted! I have a terrific mom and dad, sometimes they are silly! I know that I am special because they tell me all the time! They tell me every day that they love me soooo much. But if you are worried about your baby, I would love to be a big brother and help take care of your baby for you! I could teach your baby about adoption, like me!

Adoption has been incredible for us! One that we never could have imagined! We discovered that we could not get pregnant - Shanna has endometriosis. Upon discovery and acceptance, we decided to complete the paperwork for adoption and WOW, what a wonderful experience adopting Zachary has been! As we watch in awe of this creative, energetic and outgoing addition to our little family, it is always a surprise. As his adoptive parents, we know that we could never have done better on our own! Another discovery is wondering how we ever had anything really tremendous in our lives before Zach. We have no doubt that we will have all of these feelings and more when we are able to adopt a second baby!

We love raising Zach! Our desire as a family is to be close and to be able to instill in our children love of family and support. We are open with Zach and feel that this is absolutely vital in raising him to be a healthy and happy child. We have found that every day there are opportunities for learning, for all of us. Zach is never short on questions and we answer with what we think our eight-year-old needs to know. As challenges arise, we face them head on and seek appropriate steps for answers in how to best handle those challenges. We stay in touch with Zach’s birth mother often. She is a wonderful lady!

Both of our families are incredibly supportive of adoption. A feeling from families on both sides is that Zach is just one of the family, period! They are always asking about a little brother or sister for Zach, and will absolutely love the baby as much as him. Both of our parents live nearby. R. J.’s dad passed away about two years ago, while Shanna has both parents and a grandmother. Visiting at the homes of great-grandma and grandparents is a consistent request from Zach. Family gatherings are very exciting because that always means a gathering of the cousins! A gathering means lots of commotion and fun since R. J. is the youngest of ten, while Shanna is the eldest of seven, which ultimately means there will never be a shortage of love and support from our extended families!

Who we are We strongly believe in pursuing education. Doors that can be opened by additional schooling can be amazing! R. J. is a registered nurse with an Associate’s Degree, and has been working on his Bachelor’s in nursing. Shanna is a business education high school teacher who recently completed a master’s degree. As a couple, we have supported each other through our school years. It has been a great blessing to have the support of one another while we have spent time in school. Otherwise, we never would have accomplished what we have to this point in our lives. Every day is a learning opportunity, and we believe in embracing those opportunities – although, not all learning opportunities are pleasant or fun!

As we both have careers, we have almost always had one of us home to be with Zachary. When our schedules have collided, we have wonderful grandparents who have been there to help us with Zach. We have been very fortunate to have such supportive families! Ultimately, we want Shanna to be more at home, she would still be involved in some high school classes and activities – she is an advisor over student government and loves being with her crazy teenagers. She has a strong personal belief that her job is to be there to help high school students have an easier trip through some of their toughest years! We strongly feel that the areas of professional careers we have chosen will assist us to be the best parents we can be. Both require caring and compassion along with the ability of firm decision-making skills.

We are both involved in our church through callings and activities. Shanna fills in as needed in Relief Society, whether playing the piano or teaching. R. J. is an Elders’ Quorum Teacher, which is not his favorite, but he does what he was asked to do and tries to do a good job. Zachary attends Primary and loves his class. We feel that having an idea of where we came from and why we are here helps us to be a better family and provides guidance as we make choices about our lives.

We have been married a little over 16 years! While not everything has been perfect, the key for us has been a strong foundation in friendship and trust. We do not keep secrets from one another, unless it is birthday or Christmas. We value our time together as much as we do our time apart. When we have big decisions to make, we discuss and consider things together – we are a team! All of the ride has not been smooth and from each experience we have learned that there are times to joke and play around, but then there are times that we need to buckle down and work together to achieve the success in our relationship and family that we both desire. Even though we take Zach to practically everything, we have found that we enjoy date nights. In fact, Zach reminds of us of this regularly because it is also a treat for him to have one of his cousins or grandparents as a sitter.

Our Marriage and Home We love our home and have set it up to be a haven for our family. This is our safe place outside of worldly cares and concerns. We eat dinner as a family. Traditions are important in our family. Birthday celebrations are a big deal with lots of family and friends. Thanksgiving to Christmas is full of traditions, from family gatherings to festivities with friends.

In closing, we would like to thank you for reading through this letter about us. We would like to invite you to let us know of any questions that we can answer for you. We admire and respect the decision you are considering making. Although we cannot imagine what you are going through, we want you to know how appreciative we are for your consideration. “Thank you” seems incredibly inadequate and yet we want you to know that we sincerely say, thank you. We are so excited of the possibilities and hope to hear from you! We hope only the best for you, your baby and your future!

Love,
R. J., Shanna and Zachary