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Barry & Debby are hopeful adoptive parents from Illinois waiting to adopt a baby.

If you are pregnant and considering placing your child for adoption, please read the following Dear Birthmother Letter.

Dear Birthmother and Family We are Debby and Barry, and as we sit here and begin to write this letter to you, we are trying to imagine what life must be like for you at this moment. We can only believe that it must be an incredibly difficult time and filled with questions and uncertainty. It takes a great deal of courage, and love for your baby, to consider adoption. If you choose us to love and cherish your baby, our first gift to your child will be sharing our knowledge of your strength, courage and love.

We have always loved being around children and have dreamed about being parents for as long as we can remember. When we learned that we were not going to be able to have a child ourselves, the transition to adoption was immediate and certain. We have built a marriage filled with unconditional love, laughter, and support and we want so much to share our love with a child.

HOW WE MET AND FELL IN LOVE
Our friends had a plan to stir life up a bit. One of Debby’s friends decided to enroll her in a computer dating service as a holiday gift. At the same time, one of Barry’s closest friends was doing the same for him. Neither of us ever imagined meeting the love of our life on a computer. But we met for lunch and the connection was immediate. At that first lunch we talked for hours, quickly realizing how much we enjoyed each other’s company and how much we shared.

We married two years later and our friendship and love continues to grow as we share our lives together. Our relationship is based on trust, open communication, respect, support, encouragement and an indescribable depth of love. We are best friends and have a deep desire to become parents together.

Our families have merged in the most wonderful way. We often spend time with family in Milwaukee, Evanston and Denver and it is common for our entire extended families to get together to celebrate a holiday or to have dinner together. Our mothers have bonded and frequently call each other to catch up. We have grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins and friends all waiting excitedly to welcome a baby with love and open arms. When we told our families that we were hoping to adopt a baby, their biggest question was WHEN?

Where We Live We have found our little piece of heaven in the northern Chicago suburbs. Our home is a 3-story with four bedrooms, a front porch and a finished 3rd floor where we picture a great playroom. It is located in a community where there are 10 miles of trails for walking, biking, horseback riding and cross country skiing, as well as a lake where we swim, skate, fish and take out small boats. There is also a stable for horses, plenty of community land to garden and many playgrounds, so there is always the sound of children playing. Two charter schools are nearby for grades first through eighth, which have become known nationally for their focus on conservation.

The lake and beach are two blocks from our home. On the weekend we often take a book and sit by the lake. Most of the time, we get very little reading done, as we far prefer to watch the kids play in the sand and water. We have seen some great sand castles being built.
We treasure time at home where we can read, talk and spend time together. One of our new loves is cooking. We like to look through recipe books over the weekend and plan a couple of new recipes to try during the week. We put on a little Louis Armstrong jazz, enjoy creating a meal together, and most of all being with each other. It’s not uncommon for us to call Debby’s mother, a chef at heart, with recipe questions; she never tires of the calls. We truly love our home and neighborhood and can’t wait to share it with a child.

One of the ways we connected was through our love of travel. Before we met Barry was a zealous traveler. Since Debby’s mother is a travel agent, early family travels were part of Debby’s life. Debby also travels to developing countries on volunteer medical trips and always tries to extend these trips in an effort to learn about that country’s people and culture.

Today, we continue our love for travel together, seeking opportunities slightly “off the beaten path.” Last year we traveled to Italy and delved into the Italian culture, taking a cooking class up in the hills of Florence. Most important to us are our frequent trips to visit family in Denver, Phoenix and San Francisco. We are eager to include a child in our adventures.

Our Careers Debby is a pediatric physical therapist and works at Children’s Memorial Hospital in Chicago and also has a private practice. She graduated from the University of Illinois with a degree in physical therapy. At Children’s, Debby works with newborn infants, toddlers and teenagers who have been born with developmental challenges, been in an accident or had an injury. Debby has never seen her job as work; it is her passion and she looks forward to each day with her kids. She has an incredible amount of flexibility in her schedule which will be great when a baby joins our family. Debby is also a CPR instructor who certifies the staff at Children’s Memorial Hospital and teaches parents CPR in their home.

Like Debby, Barry is fortunate to have a job that he really loves. Barry graduated from the University of Wisconsin in Milwaukee with a degree in communications and now works as a TV producer and in advertising. Barry likes that each project is different, and over the years he has produced commercials for an array of clients and products. One of the areas he has learned about is the medical field, having done dozens of projects for hospitals throughout the country. Barry loves the creativity in his job and the work of bringing a project to completion.

ABOUT DEBBY
I grew up in Evanston, a suburb of Chicago, with an older sister Kathy and a younger sister Elizabeth; and we can’t forget our family dog, Sprout. Barry and I live close to my parents and they eagerly await their third grandchild (but the first to live locally!)

My mom is a musician, travel agent and fabulous cook and my dad is a pharmacist and avid fisherman. Our home was always filled with music. My mom played the harpsichord and piano, and my sisters and I joined the marching bands and orchestra where Kathy played oboe, Liz played flute and I played the clarinet. I was blessed to grow up near both sets of grandparents. Knowing what precious gift grandparents are, your child will be fortunate to have both sets of grandparents nearby.

My sister Kathy lives in Colorado with her husband Steve and their children Mike and Brynna. Our family makes frequent trips to Colorado where we go hiking, skiing, and snowshoeing in the mountains. Kathy is an electrical engineer who is now going back to school to get a PhD in ecology. She has a great love for animals and a commitment to caring for nature. My sister Elizabeth is a music teacher and director of children’s choirs. She has a passion for music and for sharing this love with children. Elizabeth lives just 15 minutes from us and cannot wait to be an aunt again.

I have always loved the water. I joined the swim team at my high school and spent my summers lifeguarding and teaching swimming to children. I continue this love today, taking sailing lessons and embarking on an outdoor adventure trip where I went white water rafting and kayaking. This year I began doing physical therapy in the pool with some of my patients.

ABOUT BARRY
I grew up in Milwaukee, the youngest of three children. As far back as I can remember I spent my free time playing basketball and baseball in the neighborhood alleys and parks around my house. In fact, I still play in a summer softball league with my high school friends. My father owned a local clothing store while my mother was a stay- at- home mom.

I’m fortunate to have two great siblings with whom I have a very close relationship. My brother Tyler owns a home maintenance business and my sister Sheila is a special education teacher. Both siblings have two children whom I enjoy spoiling at every opportunity. My nieces and nephews call me Uncle B and the connection I have with them is so much fun. I adore Debby’s niece Brynna and love to joke with her. We have a running joke about my knowledge of fruits and vegetables. I will tease her saying I got my daily intake of fruit with my morning bowl of fruit loops and orange soda. Brynna never tires of telling me that I need to read the ingredients.

I wake up weekend mornings full of energy; I have the newspaper read, the grass cut, and the cars washed by 9 am. I can’t wait to wake up to a child and to share these mornings with them. I like to stay active running and exercising after work and on weekends. I’m a voracious reader; I remember reading under the covers by flashlight as a young child and these days still like to read before falling asleep.

ABOUT DEB…BY BARRY
Wow. Where do I begin? Never have I met such a kindhearted and genuine person. Deb is devoted to her family, undeniably faithful to her friends, the staunchest advocate for her little patients and the most amazing wife. Deb undertakes every task with flair of gusto and determination; whether it’s trying out a new recipe, staying physically fit, or preparing to speak at a conference. She does it with a heartfelt ambition that brings a smile to my face watching her. I am sure she will approach being a mom with that same personality.

She has the patience of a saint, the heart of an angel, and she is the soul of my life. There is no one I love or admire more. Picturing Deb as a mother is the most natural of thoughts. Deb loves kids and I have never met someone who exhibits more compassion.

Deb also volunteers to go on medical mission trips to developing countries to work in hospitals and orphanages. She has spent time in Romania, Ukraine, Columbia, Nicaragua, and Guatemala. She works with local nurses and therapists to problem solve and share ideas on treating children with developmental challenges. She spends hours holding babies in these orphanages where there are just never enough hands. She will be an incredible mother and I can’t wait to share it with her.

ABOUT BARRY…BY DEB
I can vividly picture the first moment I saw Barry. He walked into the restaurant with this spring in his step and this smile…oh, the smile. It is a smile so filled with energy and love for life and I still melt at the sight of it. People talk about marrying the man of their dreams; but I could never have dreamed of someone as wonderful and loving as Barry or someone who makes me feel the way I do when I’m with him.

He has a terrific sense of humor and loves to laugh; and his laugh is quite contagious. He knows that family and friends are what is important in life and always puts them first. He has developed a core group of friends, many of whom he has known since grade school. He is bright and incredibly creative. I love to watch him work on a project and see it come to life. He is a kind, caring and loving person. I’ve always said he would give someone the shirt off his back. He denies it, but experience tells me different. (One winter I found out he was secretly stopping by my parents and grandparents houses to shovel their driveways).

Barry loves children and has dedicated efforts to helping children in need. He has served on the board of directors for March of Dimes and has been chairperson for their fundraising event. As a television producer, he has produced various pro bono fundraising projects for children’s schools and charities. His annual project is to volunteer for the Make A Wish Foundation. His entire family volunteers their time and Barry runs in the Run for Wishes event.

Sometimes we will pull up to our house and see some of the neighborhood kids playing on the playground behind our house. Barry will say, “I’m just going to play with the kids for a few minutes.” The neighborhood kids frequently stop to say hello and to check on what Barry is doing. Barry has been a Big Brother to a child for 7 years and has been there to support this youngster through many life changes. I cannot wait for the day I can watch Barry be a dad!

Our Promise to You We are grateful for the opportunity to share a little bit of ourselves with you. We have a deep desire and commitment to be parents and promise to raise your child in a home filled with unconditional love, laughter, support, encouragement and security. We have been blessed to grow up in warm, loving homes and your child will be surrounded by this love and attention. Family will always come first to us.

We hope this letter will give you a glimpse into our lives, the love we have for children and the kind of parents we will be. We are eager to have the opportunity to get to know you and, most importantly, to develop a relationship that feels comfortable to you. Your child will grow up knowing that your decision was made out of the intense love that only a birthmother can know.

If you would like to contact us, you may call us day or night at 1-800-418-0212 or Send us a message. You may also contact our adoption counselor, Maggie Benz, at Adoptions with Heart at 1-800-869-1005.

You are in our thoughts and in our hearts,

Debby and Barry