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Carlos & Rebecca are hopeful adoptive parents from Iowa waiting to adopt a baby.

If you are pregnant and considering placing your child for adoption, please read the following Dear Birthmother Letter.

Our Dear Friend, I have started this letter at least a dozen times. I thought it would be easy to write, but I couldn’t have been more wrong. It is surprisingly hard to bare your innermost thoughts to the world in the hope that the right ONE person will read it. I know that you probably have read, or will read, many letters like this. Thank you for taking the time to do so. If you are the expectant mother for us, I hope what we write will help you in the decision that you are tying to make. What ever happens we hope what we write will especially touch your heart and help you with the decision you are making.

My name is Becca; my husband is Carlos. We have been married for over six years now. When we were dating we talked about having a large family. I think the number I finally settled on was seven. Don’t ask me why. It’s probably closer to four or five now. We started trying right away, but our journey was not meant to be short, easy, or traditional- even if Carlos doesn't want to be sixty and trying to raise a ten year old. After struggling with infertility and miscarriage we have discovered that we just want a child to love. It doesn’t matter how that bond comes into our life, it will be a top priority to make sure it is real and strong, built by love and faith.

About Us Let me tell you a little bit about us. Carlos is the most patient man I have ever met. Maybe that sounds a little bit superficial, but that’s exactly how I feel. I can honestly say that he is a true, old fashioned gentleman. He’s also pretty funny. He cracks corny jokes, and he likes to play with any little kids that are around. He works hard to make a good life for us, and he loves to help people. I always know he is going to have a nice day if he has gotten to do a good deed for someone. He says he is a jack of all trades. After all these years and the things I have seen him do, I think he’s probably right. He fixes cars, works with computers, cooks, teaches Sunday school, and single handedly remodeled our entire house (well almost.) For me his biggest flaw is that he can’t dance. I think it’s because he has trouble keeping the rhythm, but since I love to dance, he tries. Carlos is an “Outside Boy”. He gardens and putters around the yard from spring until fall and sometimes during the winter too. I know he often wishes we lived in the country, but he makes do by tending the ground he has. He loves to read and watch movies; that’s often how he relaxes. He also collects stamps and dabbles in poetry.

Hi, this is Carlos. I have to interject here to explain a few things, and then I will give you my description of who Becca is.

First on the whole kids and being 60 thing, Becca some time likes to tease me about being old, but she is right about me hoping that I am not 60 and still trying to raise a 10 year old. Really I am not that much older than she is; there are about 4 ½ years difference between us. Second, she is right on the rhythm thing. I have spent years trying to learn various instruments, and I still can’t keep the tempo right much less read the notes. I think that for me personally this is one of my most frustrating traits since I love so many types of music, and I can’t play it. Good thing Becca can.

Now, on to my description of Becca. I will try to keep this short and sweet as I am not good with long descriptions. The best description I can give is that of a wild rose. Like the wild rose she is simple, strong, beautiful, and can grow where other things or people can’t. (I often think this is because her life growing up wasn’t perfect). And like the rose, she sometimes has to be worked with carefully. But regardless of those “thorny” times she is as loving and perceptive as people come. I have noticed Becca understands kids better than she does adults. I have seen her walk in to a room full of adults and be shy and almost terrified, but you stick her in a room full of kids and she has a way of seeing exactly what they need. Becca is what really keeps our home running even if the dishes aren’t completely done or the house isn’t as perfect as she often wishes she could make it. She likes to get down on the kids’ level to try and talk to them. Becca likes to learn new things (something I try to encourage her to do). Right now she is learning to sew.

Nether Becca nor I are perfect but I can promise that whatever happens we try to do our best. If you are looking for perfection then that is not us, and I encourage you to try to find someone who better fits with what you are looking for. But if you are looking for some one who is going to try to do their best at being a parent to their child then think about Becca and I.

You probably noticed in our pictures that we have a dog. Empress, or Emi as we like to call her, is our Westie. She loves to meet new people; although, kids often misunderstand her intentions when she jumps up to say hi. Her hobbies include sleeping in laps, jumping on the cat outside, grabbing socks out of the laundry basket, and treeing squirrels. She also likes going on “Grand Tours” of the entire yard with Carlos; the two of them have some pretty amazing adventures out there.

Family Life We live in a cozy home in town with a VERY large yard- a compromise between Carlos’ dream of living in the country and Becca’s desire to be in town. It is like our own little paradise. We really appreciate being able to spend time outside on our tree swing, gardening, and playing Frisbee with Emi. We have even roasted a pig in the backyard for a luau! We are a single income family. Carlos works while Becca tends the house and goes to school part time. She hopes to one day own her own translation business. When we are parents, she plans to be a full-time mom. We are also very active in our church. Becca is in charge of the primary (children’s Sunday school) and helps with the cub scouts; she also sometimes plays the piano for meetings. Carlos is a primary teacher and helps out wherever else he is needed.

We’ve been told that love is “an unconditional commitment to an imperfect person.” We know this is true. We like to think we are very affectionate people. We love to give hugs. We also like to tickle each other. We sing together, laugh together, and when one of us hurts, we often cry together. We cherish the closeness this has brought to our family. The desire to love and serve each other helps us stay close, and helps us see each other as the Lord sees us. It has also helped us to learn to communicate more effectively with each other. We try to go on date nights to break away from our every day tasks and reconnect with each other. Having dinner together is a special time that we both appreciate and look forward to.

Family traditions are something we have tried to create while it is just the two of us. We are excited to have children to share them with. Many of them center around birthdays and holidays. Birthdays are a chance to be creative and have fun together. For Becca one of the best parts is dreaming up Carlos’ cake each year. One of her favorites was “The Sword in the Stone.” She baked the cake to look like the stone and stuck a plastic sword in it. For Christmas we drive to a local tree farm to pick out a tree because being able to cut it ourselves reminds us of growing up in the mountains. We try to always spend Christmas Day at home so we can focus on our little family. We take turns opening presents and sometimes even stop to play with them. We also take breaks from the presents to play with Emi and the wrapping paper. That is by far her favorite part. One of our other big traditions is to visit Carlos’ family for the Fourth of July. They live in Missouri where most, if not all, fireworks are legal. We go out to his grandparents’ farm, and all the guys light the fireworks. It’s always fun to see the faces of the nieces and nephews light up as the fireworks explode.

Perspective on Parenting We know that no matter how they come to us our children will bless us in ways we can’t begin to understand as we teach them and love them. We believe that children learn best when they are taught in a way they can understand. To us this means giving them explanations of right and wrong, teaching with love, setting boundaries, and providing clear choices with an explanation of the consequences as often as possible. They also need to know how special they are. We want then to learn how to make good choices on their own and what happens when they don’t. We especially want to give them them knowledge of who they are, confidence that they can be whatever they want to be, and that they can achieve it in a way pleasing to themselves and God as well. Our wish is to have a large, loving and supportive family. We want a family that is based on traditional values like honesty, integrity, and the ability to work as well as play. We also have, and will continue to have, a home built around faith in God and love for others, but perhaps the most important thing is knowing our Heavenly Father’s love for each of us personally. We have seen what can happen to a family or individual when that’s missing.

We want you to know we are grateful that you are considering adoption. Thank you for looking at our profile. Regardless of whom you choose, we sincerely hope you can feel Heavenly Father guiding you to bless other lives. We know He will give you the guidance you need as well as assurance and comfort. While we can never claim to understand how you feel, we want you to know that we are familiar with all the “what ifs…” when you cannot be with your child. However, for us this comes not from adoption, but from the loss of a miscarriage and many years of wondering and waiting for a child. The sudden loss and sorrow we felt has left a place in our hearts and home that our love for each other alone cannot fill. That’s part of why we are so grateful adoption exists, and that there are people who are willing to turn their own trials into a blessing for someone else. We admire your strength and the love you have for your child. We also want you to know that we are open to sending letters and pictures to you, and then we can see where things go from there.

May God grant you the understanding and comfort you need to make the best decision,

Becca & Carlos