ParentProfiles.com

We got a call a few days ago that came through our toll free number that we could not get to because the phone was just out of reach. We sincerely hope if it was a birth mother, that she calls back!

I love sunflowers and saw this one on a neighborhood walk, we all need a little extra ray of sunshine in our lives! I made it my phone background. Enjoy!

Had another "nibble" via email... which, even when it does not work out, gives us hope another is around the corner. One of these nibbles has to work out some time, we keep telling ourselves! This waiting is tough!!! We are keeping our chins up!

I had a fantastic afternoon playing with and babysitting my six year old niece. She has an incredible personality and great sense of humor. At one point we were playing "alien basketball" by throwing a stuffed toy (an alien from Lilo and Stitch) into a salad bowl. All the toys in the world are not as valuable as time and imagination. She chose several books for me to read to her, one that I particularly liked was titled "Auntie Claus," a great Christmas book. I am partial to it, of course, because of my auntie status! It was clear that my niece had read it many times too, had it nearly memorized and "guessed" what would happen next.

I went to a baby shower last night for a good friend at a beach house in the country. At the beginning of the celebration, we had an actual shower of rain that sent everyone scurrying for shelter. In Hawaii we call these passing, unexpected showers blessings.

I had a great time, even as it is difficult to still be waiting for a child. These events actually used to be harder for me. Since we started pursuing adoption I feel hopeful because I am also expecting a child, just in a different way and with a more open ended timeline.

I found myself at a table with the small group of us that have yet to become parents, all for different reasons. Everyone has something they long for, no matter what stage of life. If not a wish for a baby, it is for an improved relationship, better financial situation, or something else that seems just out of reach.

It is so easy to say to other people “you are where you are supposed to be” and “be patient." It is so much harder to take that same advice and truly embrace the moment we are in.

Since I cannot control when it is that I will become a parent, I am trying break the mental habit of spending so much of my time longing. I cannot stop wanting a child; that is impossible. However, I try maintain a positive focus to the kids that are in my life now: my students, our nieces and nephews, our neighbors' children, and our extended ohana.

I was told a long time ago that the adoption process is trans-formative, and I feel that Rob and I have already been transformed even though we are not a parents yet. Rob and I have talked with many potential birth parents, and had an adoption possibility that got very close, and then fell through. It has been a real roller coaster of emotions. Each " nibble" as I call them gets us more ready, physically and emotionally, to receive the gift of a child through adoption. We have now gathered all we need to bring a baby home. Another effect is that the stories that we have heard along the way have opened our minds and our hearts.

Even as it has been a long road, I think two years ago I felt more “sorry” for myself than I do today. Everyone faces problems and challenges that cannot be measured against each other. Rob and I have a great deal of empathy for birth parents even though our experience is different.

Whatever it is you long for, I hope you are getting closer to it, and that you are gently delivered to whatever is "next" for you in life... and that you, as we have, experience unexpected blessings along the way.

This picture was also taken in Wisconsin. It is so beautiful there (especially in the summer!), and so different from Hawaii, though there is certainly a midwest version of the "aloha spirit." While we love our island home... it is important to "get off the rock" sometimes, and we will certainly provide these opportunities for our child.

This is Rob swimming in a Lake in Wisconsin, where we spent a week with our two nephews and niece (not to mention their parents, Rob's brother and his wife!). We stayed in a house near the lake with Rob's parents. After that, Rob had to return home for work, but I went on to Oregon to visit three of my sisters, our other nephew, my parents, Rob's grandmother, and Rob's cousins. I saw almost everyone in our whole family within the span of two weeks, which was wonderful!

Now, back to school. I spent all of yesterday (Saturday) in my classroom and am almost ready for the new year.

Last Friday we celebrated the 4th of July with family and friends. We started the day at our town's parade (which you see the tail end of in this picture). Then, we enjoyed a day at the beach and an afternoon barbecue with my sister's family at our house. Then we went back to the beach that evening to see the 8:00 pm fireworks show.

We enjoyed a favorite family recipe for barbecued chicken (very simple one too!):
boneless, skinless chicken thighs, marinated for an hour or more in a sauce made of 1 part shoyu, 1 part ketchup, and 1 part brown sugar. You can grill or broil it, but we grilled it and serve it with rice and salad. We had vanilla ice cream with fresh mango and lilkoi for dessert.

It was a truly glorious holiday!

For my neighbor's birthday, I made a recipe for the first time that I have not had since I was a kid. One of my best childhood friends (who now lives in Wyoming), sent me the recipe for divinity frosting, which her mom used to make and put on devil's food cake almost every time I slept over at her house. Her parents owned a candy store and always had something delicious cooking, something you can't just go out and buy. I also made devil's food cake to go with it to keep with the tradition... but had to alter it a bit too.

Due to a half baked plan... I found myself in the middle of it and had to borrow some corn syrup from my other neighbor, and had to substitute a little brown sugar for the white sugar. It turned out delicious, despite all my substitutions and the fact that this was the first time I tried to make it. The taste brings back good memories... and makes me appreciate my neighbors, who all know to come to our back door, thus the plaque here pictured.

I look forward to the day when I can share family recipes, and the stories that come with them, with my child.

Hot of the press... Josie this morning on a new perch, the rocking chair. She is getting more an more lazy as she ages. I predict she will be there at 1:00 this afternoon.

Today is a Hawaii state holiday, Kamehameha Day. I am off to spend the day at the beach with my five year old niece who recently moved back (with her parents!!!) Sand castles await...

How did it get to be June so fast? Someone must have blinked.

This picture of us was taken a couple days ago at a blessing for our friend's one-month-old baby girl. They have an older daughter, too, and it was fun to see her, now a year and a half and running around with her own agenda and ideas. We had not seen her for several months and she has grown so much.

We are so ready to join our friends in that next stage of our lives… parenthood, and it sometimes catches us by surprise how much time has passed since we started trying to build our family. The growth of kids and families makes the passage time so much more apparent. Though we long for our own, we are thankful to have many delightful children in our life. Soon, one of our nieces will be back here for good as well since Farris' sister and her family are moving back home for good.

Although school is out, Farris is busy getting ready to teach a summer school course on food and nutrition, which starts next week. Summer school is great because it is all the fun parts of teaching (the kids, the ideas), with less of the other stuff (meetings, testing etc..); more "pure" learning with the pressure removed.

Will also enjoy some time to do home projects, and do some reading. I just ordered some more adoptive parenting books; maybe I will find some more "tools" for my toolbox that will help me prepare.

We enjoyed another delicious meal with Rob's parents last night. His aunt and uncle flew over from the Big Island for a few days, and also joined us for hoisin lamb chops, fresh veggies from our local farmer's market (pictured), and then a fresh lemon and berry tart for dessert. The lamb was the same recipe we had at Easter, but the tart was a new one his mom tried out. YUM!!!!

Sunday today, walked the beach with Rob in the morning, and now doing school work. I cannot believe the end of the school year is just a few weeks away, and am getting a bit sentimental... With baby hopes ever-present in the back of my mind, it is good to be busy!

This picture is of Josie, our cat, hanging out in the windowsill, as she often does, so we call her "silly cat." She changes perches once every few weeks, a creature of ever changing habit, and does not realize how silly she looks with her fuzzy belly spilling out of the narrow window sill.

Just enjoyed a meal with some of my most long time (since I was in elementary school) girlfriends to celebrate April Birthdays. Enjoyed way too much food, including fried chicken and way too much very rich chocolate cake. We enjoyed our potluck on the beach as the sun set over the ocean, and then the moon rose, full, over Diamond Head. It was a magical time to be in Hawaii and we are certainly blessed to live here.

Had a great time with my friends, felt like kids again swinging on banyan tree vines. There was a concert at the Waikiki Shell that we could hear, the annual "Kokua Festival" a benefit for the local community organized by artist Jack Johnson. I overheard the song from Curious George (Upside Down I think is the name) and had one of those "longing for a child" moments which I have several times a day. I just stepped away from the group for a moment and looked at the moon, as this is something I experience separate from my girlfriends to a large degree even as they have some sense of what I am going through.

The song struck a cord. This is because I cannot wait to have my whole world turned (in a good way) upside down by a baby and I have been waiting so long for that movement and kid energy to permeate every aspect of my life. I like the part of the song that says:

"who's to say what's impossible and can't be found?"

...and I always think of the baby that I am trying to find, or that is trying to find me and Rob

I know that that it is surely possible that our baby is right around the next corner of life!

Spring has been busy and full of hope for us. Spring Break is my favorite vacation because I get to catch up on all my home projects, like painting the lanai. The weather has been sunny, but not too hot; perfect for beach trips, hikes, and work in the yard. We enjoyed Easter celebrations with Rob's parents (memorable for the delicous lamb chops in hoisin sauce), as well as many birthday celebrations. Are more people born in the Spring? It seems like it.

We continue to patiently wait to be found by our child. As a family member recently commented, "climbing a mountain isn't easy, but people do it... not just to see the view from the top but because it is the journey that makes it a rich experience that is so rewarding." Adoption is such a process and we do believe the patience we are practicing now will help us when we get our baby. Wondering how high this mountain is too... hee hee.

In the mean time, we are working on getting ready. We found a good pediatrician near home, gathered more of the needed baby supplies (car seat, etc...), and signed up for an infant CPR/ First Aid at the medical center near our home which we are looking forward to.

Back to grading papers! The end of the school year is fast approaching.

Went to the North shore for a wedding, and spent the weekend with friends. It was great to just enjoy the water and relax away from worries at home.

This is our first journal entry. We just started building our site, though we have been working on building our family for many years, and started pursuing adoption whole heartedly 15 months ago. Even as we have already been waiting a long time, we have faith that this will happen, and are hoping getting the message out on the web will help.

We are encouraged by the fact that we have had some adoption "nibbles," even though it is an emotional roller coaster to get our hopes up again and again. We are ready for a bite!

In the mean time, back to grading papers! It is a busy time in the school year.